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Fatwas / Marriage and Breastfeeding / Guidelines on what can be asked regarding the conduct of the man proposing in marriag

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Dear respected Shaykh, peace and blessings of Allah be upon you. Is it permissible for a woman to ask the man who asks her in marriage to let her have access to what he has on his mobile phone?

ضابط ما يسأل عنه من حال الخاطب


The general rule is that it is permissible for the man proposing and the woman being asked in marriage, to investigate each other in order to verify the piety and character of each other. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon him) said: “If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied asks the woman [who is under your care] in marriage, accede to his request.  If you do not do so, there will be temptation in the earth and vast corruption.” Reported by at-Tirmidhi (hadith No. 1084) Obviously, one cannot be satisfied with the piety, character and integrity of the other person without knowing the actual status of that person. Therefore, it is permissible to verify the character of the other person by all means provided it does not involve or lead to transgression because it is forbidden to expose the sins of others, e.g. it is not allowed to ask if one is committing, has or had committed such and such sins! This type of questions is impermissible and so one is not obliged to answer such questions even if they did commit such sins. Further to the point, it is impermissible to ask for that which violates others privacy such as the request mentioned in the question. That said, neither the man nor the woman is allowed to ask each other to disclose that which is considered a private matter in the presence of people. And Allah knows best. Your brother, Prof. Khalid Al-Muslih   14/10/1428 A.H.

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