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Fatwas / Marriage and Breastfeeding / The obligation of a husband to fulfil the sexual needs of his wife

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Is it obligatory on the husband to answer the call of his wife to bed? وجوب إعفاف الرجل زوجته

Answer

All praise is due to Allah alone, and may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and his companions. To answer your question, we say while seeking all the success  from Allah: It was narrated that Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allah (may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” Reported by al-Bukhari (3237) and Muslim (1436) This hadith comes to give a serious warning to the wife who refuses to answer the call of her husband when he calls her to bed (to intercourse). This is because depriving others from their rights necessitates the wrath of Allah. However, if the wife refuses because of a valid excuse such as menstruating or because she is sick and intercourse would be harmful to her, etc., then she is excused and so the warning in the hadith will not be applicable to her. The people of knowledge listed a number of excuses that justify for wives refusing to intercourse, some of which is the case where the husband deserts her [in bed] unjustly; hence she refuses to intercourse with him to punish him for his injustice. Ibn Hajar said: “If the husband was unjust to her first, then she is not subject to the blame mentioned in the hadith. This is the application of justice that governs heavens and earth. Allah, the Most High, said (interpretation of meaning): {And if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed.} [Quran 26:126] and {And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it} [Quran 46:40] From the evidence that can indicate that women in this case is excused, the authentic hadith wherein ‘Abdullah ibn Zam’ah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon him) said: “How could one of you beat his wife like a slave, then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the night." Reported by al-Bukhari (5204) This hadith indicates that it is unacceptable for a man who is unjust to his wife and still wants to have intimacy with her. This is because injustice and harm necessitate estrangement and hatred whereas intercourse requires love and inclination. In regards to the issue of a husband who refuses to answer the call of his wife to bed, it appears [to me] that it is impermissible if he is capable and the wife needs to fulfill her sexual need. This is because doing so contravenes the command of Allah, the Most High – that is to say, spouses ought to live with each other in kindness. Allah, the Most High, said (interpretation of meaning): {And live with them in kindness} [Quran 4:19] and {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable} [Quran 2:228]. All that indicate that the husband has rights in return of fulfilling her obligations towards him except in the case where the evidence specifies that either of them has an exclusive right. The statement of Allah, the Most High, wherein He said (interpretation of meaning): {For those who swear not to have sexual relations with their wives is a waiting time of four months, but if they return [to normal relations] - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 2:226] is also evidence because the end of the ayah mentioned that Allah is Forgiving, “which indicates that the preceded part talks about a sin (harming the wife by preventing her from having sexual relations). It is for this reason; we concluded that harming others without swearing to do so takes the same ruling as if a person swears to harm others, except in the rulings pertaining to women.” [Taken from Ahkaam al-Quran of Ibn al-‘Arabi 1/250] From the other evidence that support this view is that if a man does not fulfill the right of his wife and satisfy her sexual needs when she needs it, then that will make her subject to temptation and lead her to ask someone who is unlawful for her to satisfy her sexual needs, particularly that corruption is available and its means are many. Indeed, Allah is the best Protector and the Most Merciful. As for whether the husband will be subject to the warning mentioned in the hadith of Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) if he refuses to answer the call of his wife to bed, it is unlikely. This is because the textual evidence is specific and it addresses the wife who refuses to answer the call of her husband to bed, hence applying analogy on this case is invalid.     And Allah knows best.


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