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Fatwas / Marriage and Breastfeeding / My wife refuses intercourse

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My wife does not wish to have sexual intercourse with me, and when it happens, she does it unwillingly. I tried to find out the reason for her feelings, but could not find out the reason behind such behavior because we never had this problem during the 15 years of our marriage. That said, I kindly ask for your advice to solve this problem.

زوجتي ترفض الجماع

Answer

 All praise is due to Allah alone, and may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and his companions. To answer your question, we say while seeking all the success  from Allah: It is obligatory on the wife to oblige her husband if he wants to be intimate with her, unless it may harm her in some way.   There are many textual proofs warning woman from not answering the call of her husband to bed, some of which is: Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (may the Salah and Salam of Allah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, when a woman refuses to be intimate with her husband when he wants to,  then the One above heavens (i.e. Allah)  will be angry with her until her husband is pleased with her.” That said, I advise you to remind your wife of this hadith if she does not know about it, and ask her to inform you of her reasons to refuse sleeping with you, so you can find a solution to the  problem. Also, I advise you to treat her kindly and check yourself, to make sure you don’t have any characteristic or physical shortcoming that may turn her off. If she does not respond to any of this advice, and it appears no solution is to be found, advise your wife that her refusing intimacy will force you to marry another woman, if you can afford it, in order to protect your chastity. May Allah rectify all your affairs

Your brother,

Khalid al-Muslih

  06/09/1424


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